Two and a Half Men: Season 3
- 2005
- 24 episodes
Family ties tighten and tension rises as Charlie's wild ways clash with Alan's neuroses, leading to hilarious misadventures in love, work, and parenting.
Season 3 of Two and a Half Men premiered on September 19, 2005 and has 24 episodes, from "Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts" to "That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite". The last episode aired on May 22, 2006.
Where to watch Two and a Half Men
In the United States, you can stream Two and a Half Men on Peacock, Philo, YouTube TV and USA Network. You can also buy it on Amazon Video, Apple TV Store, Google Play Movies and Fandango At Home. It is on streaming services in 127 countries.
Episodes
Episode 1Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic GymnastsAired September 19, 2005
After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.
Guest stars
- Kimberly Oja Betsy
- Sandra Purpuro Mona
Episode 2Principal Gallagher's Lesbian LoverAired September 26, 2005
Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.
Guest stars
- Candace Kita Coco
- Stephanie Erb Mrs. Schmidt
- Diane Sellers Ms. Gallagher
- Anna Pheil Tanya
- Mark Roberts Mr. Malinkovich
- Bill Rutkoski Lenny
- Wayne Thomas Yorke Bob
- Lincoln Kennedy Mr. Dunlop
Episode 3Carpet Burns and a Bite MarkAired October 3, 2005
Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.
Guest stars
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
Episode 4Your Dismissive Attitude Toward BoobsAired October 10, 2005
Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them
Episode 5We Called It Mr. PinkyAired October 17, 2005
Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.
Guest stars
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
- Natalie Zea Colleen
Episode 6Hi, Mr. Horned OneAired October 24, 2005
Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
Guest stars
- Jodi Lyn O'Keefe Isabella
Episode 7Sleep Tight, Puddin' PopAired November 7, 2005
Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.
Guest stars
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
- Martin Sheen Harvey
- June Squibb Margaret
Episode 8That Voodoo That I Do DoAired November 14, 2005
Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.
Guest stars
- Emmanuelle Vaugier Mia
Episode 9Madame and Her Special FriendAired November 21, 2005
One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.
Guest stars
- April Bowlby Kimber
- Cloris Leachman Norma
- James Edson Stephan 'Bobby' Wasserstein
- Glen Walker TV Announcer
Episode 10Something Salted and TwistedAired November 28, 2005
Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.
Guest stars
- Jennifer Ann Massey Sheila
- Aja Evans Emily
- Rebecca McFarland Leanne
Episode 11Santa's Village of the DamnedAired December 19, 2005
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
Guest stars
- Josie Davis Sandy
Episode 12That Special TugAired January 9, 2006
Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.
Guest stars
- Andrea Bendewald Terry Sholander
- Valerie Azlynn Beth
- Stephanie Reibel Amy
- Jane Lynch Dr. Linda Freeman
Episode 13Humiliation Is a Visual MediumAired January 23, 2006
Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.
Guest stars
- April Bowlby Kandi
- Emmanuelle Vaugier Mia
Episode 14Love Isn't Blind, It's RetardedAired February 6, 2006
Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
Guest stars
- April Bowlby Kandi
- Emmanuelle Vaugier Mia
Episode 15My Tongue Is MeatAired February 27, 2006
Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.
Guest stars
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
- Jackie Debatin Ginger
- Rod Britt Man
- Nanci Christopher Wife
- J.D. Walsh Gordon
- Emmanuelle Vaugier Mia
Episode 16Ergo, the Booty CallAired March 6, 2006
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
Guest stars
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
- April Bowlby Kandi
- Hugh Holub Man
- Brian Thomas Smith Emmett
- Terry Shusta Man #2
- Susse Budde Willow
- Alitzah Ellie
- J.D. Walsh Gordon
Episode 17The Unfortunate Little SchnauzerAired March 13, 2006
Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.
Guest stars
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
- Loren Lester Emcee
- Robert Clotworthy Announcer
- Jon Lovitz Archie Baldwin
- Theresa Adams Dancer #1
- Dionne Hudson Dancer #2
- Danielle Lewis Dancer #3
- J.D. Walsh Gordon
Episode 18The Spit-Covered CobblerAired March 20, 2006
Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.
Guest stars
- April Bowlby Kandi
- John Mendoza Sid
Episode 19Golly Moses, She's a MuffinAired April 10, 2006
Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.
Guest stars
- April Bowlby Kandi
- Gail O'Grady Mandi
- Diane Delano Prison Matron
Episode 20Always a Bridesmaid, Never a BurroAired April 24, 2006
Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
Guest stars
- April Bowlby Kandi
- Kevin Sorbo Andy
- Gail O'Grady Mandi
Episode 21And the Plot MoistensAired May 1, 2006
Jake's teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.
Guest stars
- April Bowlby Kandi
- Julia Campbell Francine
Episode 22Just Once with Aunt SophieAired May 8, 2006
A girl from Jake's school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.
Guest stars
- Ralph Cole Jr. Ricky
- Stephanie Brown Connie
Episode 23Arguments for the QuickieAired May 15, 2006
Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie's sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.
Guest stars
- Conchata Ferrell Berta
- April Bowlby Kandi
- Cheyenne Casebier Jennifer
- Maria Tornberg Theresa
- Raymond Ma Mr. Park
- Art Bonilla Angry Hispanic Man
- Irena Violette Fawn
- Emmanuelle Vaugier Mia
Episode 24That Pistol-Packin' HermaphroditeAired May 22, 2006
Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.
Guest stars
- Holland Taylor Evelyn Harper
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
- April Bowlby Kandi
- John Vance Leon
- Emmanuelle Vaugier Mia
- Steven Shaw Reverend Yarnell
Season cast
Charlie SheenCharlie Harper
Jon CryerAlan Harper
Angus T. JonesJake Harper
Marin HinkleJudith Harper