Two and a Half Men: Season 7
- 2009
- 22 episodes
Charlie's romantic past catches up to him, Alan's financial woes deepen, and Jake's teenage years bring a new level of mischief and mayhem.
Season 7 of Two and a Half Men premiered on September 21, 2009 and has 22 episodes, from "818-JKLPUZO" to "This Is Not Gonna End Well". The last episode aired on May 24, 2010.
Where to watch Two and a Half Men
In the United States, you can stream Two and a Half Men on Peacock, Philo, YouTube TV and USA Network. You can also buy it on Amazon Video, Apple TV Store, Google Play Movies and Fandango At Home. It is on streaming services in 127 countries.
Episodes
Episode 1818-JKLPUZOAired September 21, 2009
Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.
Guest stars
- Eddie Van Halen Eddie Van Halen
- Will Sasso Andrew
- Jennifer Bini Taylor Suzanne
- Kelly Stables Melissa
- Jane Lynch Dr. Linda Freeman
- Emmanuelle Vaugier Mia
Episode 2Whipped Unto the Third GenerationAired September 28, 2009
When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.
Guest stars
- Jennifer Bini Taylor Suzanne
- Kelly Stables Melissa
- Tinashe Celeste
Episode 3Mmm, Fish. Yum.Aired October 5, 2009
Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.
Guest stars
- Marin Hinkle Judith Melnick
- Annie Potts Lenore
- David Mattey Lou
- Ryan Stiles Herb
Episode 4Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorAired October 12, 2009
Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.
Guest stars
- Kelly Stables Melissa
- Gerald Brodin Man
- Caroline Bielskis Woman
- Scott McShane Police Officer #1 (voice)
- Peter A. Hulne Police Officer #2 (voice)
- Robert Clotworthy TV Announcer (voice)
Episode 5For the Sake of the ChildAired October 19, 2009
Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.
Guest stars
- Marin Hinkle Judith Melnick
- Paulina Olszynski Trudy
- Skyler Caleb Serge
Episode 6Give Me Your ThumbAired November 2, 2009
Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.
Guest stars
- Steve Hytner Dr. Schenkman
- Claudia Choi Nurse
Episode 7Untainted by FilthAired November 9, 2009
Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.
Guest stars
- Arthur Darbinyan Joe
- Arturo Gil Ed
- Joe Gieb Ted
- Kevin Bickford Clown
- Marcel Mazur Strong Man
- Jackie Zane Bearded Lady
- Haitao Duan Chinese Acrobat #1
- Di Guan Chinese Acrobat #2
Episode 8Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.Aired November 16, 2009
While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.
Guest stars
- Tricia Helfer Gail
- Robert Clotworthy TV Announcer (voice)
Episode 9Captain Terry's Spray-On HairAired November 23, 2009
While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.
Episode 10That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"Aired December 7, 2009
Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.
Guest stars
- Marin Hinkle Judith Melnick
- Jeanette O'Connor Debbie
- Judith Drake Cynthia
- Philip Tanzini Deejay (voice)
- Robert Clotworthy TV Announcer (voice)
Episode 11Warning, It's DirtyAired December 14, 2009
Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.
Guest stars
- Jennifer Bini Taylor Suzanne
- Tinashe Celeste
- Ingrid Rogers Keisha
- Julia K. Brianna
- Larry Cedar Announcer (voice)
- Carl Reiner Marty Pepper
Episode 12Fart Jokes, Pie and CelesteAired January 11, 2010
Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.
Guest stars
- Marin Hinkle Judith Melnick
- Ryan Stiles Herb
- Joe Dietl Mailman Mike
Episode 13Yay, No Polyps!Aired January 18, 2010
Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.
Guest stars
- Meagen Fay Martha
- Ewan Chung Attendant
- Darryl Stephens Man #1
- Adam Powell Man #2
- Stacy Keach Tom
Episode 14Crude and Uncalled ForAired February 1, 2010
Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.
Guest stars
- Lilli Birdsell Louanne
- Mark Deklin Marcus
- Lisa Kaplan Female GPS Voice (voice)
- Steven Eckholdt Brad
Episode 15Aye, Aye, Captain DoucheAired February 8, 2010
Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.
Guest stars
- Erin O'Shaughnessy Mother
- Jessica DiCicco Jenny (voice)
Episode 16Tinkle Like a PrincessAired March 1, 2010
Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.
Guest stars
- Marin Hinkle Judith Melnick
- Jeff Clarke Sherman
- Tabitha Morella Nicole
- Katy Mixon Betsy
- John Amos Ed
- Stacy Keach Tom
Episode 17I Found Your MoustacheAired March 8, 2010
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
Guest stars
- Steven Eckholdt Brad
- John Amos Ed
- Stacy Keach Tom
Episode 18Ixnay on the Oggie DayAired March 22, 2010
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.
Guest stars
- Tricia Helfer Gail
- Frances Fisher Priscilla Honeycutt
- Amy Hill Mrs. Wiggins
Episode 19Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His GraveAired April 12, 2010
Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.
Guest stars
- Steffani Brass Amy
- Brooke Mackenzie Beth
- John Pirruccello Larry/Superdad (voice)
- Eamon Pirruccello Jay (voice)
- Graham Patrick Martin Eldridge Mackelroy
- Courtney Thorne-Smith Lyndsey Mackelroy
Episode 20I Called Him MagooAired May 10, 2010
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"
Guest stars
- Elizabeth Ho Jasmine
- Graham Patrick Martin Eldridge Mackelroy
- Courtney Thorne-Smith Lyndsey Mackelroy
Episode 21Gumby with a PokeyAired May 17, 2010
Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.
Guest stars
- Melanie Lynskey Rose
- Katherine LaNasa Lydia
- Ming-Na Wen Linda
- Martin Mull Russell
- Justine Eyre Gabrielle
- Aja Evans Emily
- Rachel Cannon Chloe
- Magdalena Holland Svetlana
Episode 22This Is Not Gonna End WellAired May 24, 2010
Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.
Guest stars
- John Amos Ed
- Richard Whiten Officer Bryant
- Stacy Keach Tom
- Eben Ham Officer Doogan
Season cast
Charlie SheenCharlie Harper
Jon CryerAlan Harper
Angus T. JonesJake Harper
Conchata FerrellBerta
Holland TaylorEvelyn Harper